This is not the update I wanted to share.

I haven’t really been able to talk about one of the most exciting things that happened. I got to move into my dream home. We picked and planned every drawer, faucet, piece of furniture, and we moved in in April.

It wasn’t done, but we needed to move specifically because I needed to start radiation 5 days a week, and it would have been much harder from our previous place.

So, I’ve been living out of duffel bags and boxes for a number of months.

But this weekend, I decided to unpack. Even though I wasn’t sure if I should unpack, if leaving things in my duffel bags and boxes would be easier, should things not work out the way that I hope.

I did get my MRI results after radiation. While there was partial response, the tumor has spread into my pelvic muscle.

All of my doctors are surprised.

None of them expected this to happen.

Even though I was previously told I would probably have surgery on August 13th, that has now changed.

I have been told that I need to have surgery, but that they’re not sure if surgery is possible.

I have a lot of doctors saying a lot of things without a lot of certainty.

They referred me to the top surgeon in Canada who does these types of surgeries. I found this out last week and I’m now waiting to hear back from her because she’s on vacation.

Everyone needs vacation. If if anyone’s going to cut me open, I would love for them to be fully rested up.

If she looks at my case and says that she cannot operate successfully in the current state, I would have to do more chemo. But if neither chemo nor radiation worked, no one is very sure that that’s going to do anything.

It’s been almost a year of letting this tumor live in me.

It is aggressive and it’s fast.

All we’re doing is chasing it.

It needs to come out.

I don’t see what other choice I have. If the surgeon who everyone is depending on says no, I’m going to do what I can to find any surgeon who will be able to take it out.

I hope she’s up for the challenge.

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