I am Insane - Uncover Ostomy
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Uncover Ostomy Insanity FB

I am Insane

My ass hurts.

And not in the, “I’ve had to sit on the toilet forever because of Crohn’s Disease” hurt, (many of you know what I mean, sigh) but the “I’ve exercised my ass off ” hurt.

Every morning at 6am, my boyfriend and I roll out of bed, get on our workout clothes… and DIE. Then, every night, we roll into bed at 10:30pm and pass the EFF out.

We’re doing something called 60 Days of Insanity  and now, on month 2, I CAN’T REMEMBER WHY.

No, I’m lying. I remember. My boyfriend decided one day that he wanted to get back in shape and, obviously, being the keener I am I said, LET’S DO IT TOGETHER. Insanity is this workout thing that is kind of gimmicky in the way that it’s like an as-seen-on-tv type deal, but the boyfriend said he had heard good things about it, already had the plan, so it was more like, sure, why not? I have never sweat so hard in my life. In fact, I barely ever sweat. I can run on the treadmill for, like, 20 minutes and kind-of-sort of see some beads on my face.

Insanity? I am merely existing in my own pool of BODY TEARS.

  Uncover Ostomy Insane Insanity Workout

But you know what? It’s working.

Part of the program schedule is that you have to do a fit test to measure your improvement. My first test? A JOKE. I could barely do anything and kind of felt embarrassed and lazy and a little frightened at how hard it was. But, again, being a keener, (and incredibly stubborn), I wasn’t going to give up. Now, being in month 2, and after my 3rd fit test, I have seen like 50% improvement and I’m not even lying. I know, I know – why the hell am I doing an INSANE workout every day when I am still struggling to eat? Yeah, ok I can’t really consume that much real food, lately. (Yes, that was written in April, and nothing has changed…) It sucks that I can’t really eat normal food, but I wasn’t going to let that get in the way of the rest of my life, you know? So, I’m surviving on nut butters, coconut milk, and nutritional shakes? I am still working more than full-time (my regular job, plus a new business, and UO), running a household, seeing friends, etc. – Why should my workout schedule be any different? Yes, there have been some days that have been slightly more difficult than others. I’ve had to stop, sit down, breathe, and make sure I don’t hurt myself. I know when my body is being pushed just a bit too far, and I make sure to give it a rest. I am also keeping track of how much I am eating (even though there isn’t much variety to it) to make sure I have consumed enough calories to leak out of my sweat glands. Guys – half a jar of peanut butter has enough calories. Trust. My mother thinks I’m crazy and is obviously worried about me in her normal mom way (and I love her for it), but I’ve never let my disease or ostomy or anything hold me back before, so why would it now? Exactly. I think the best part of this whole story isn’t just that I can workout, but the reason behind why I am actually writing this post. Yes, I am doing Insanity and wanted to tell you all that you can work out hard, even with a chronic illness and with an ostomy. And yes I would be telling you about my workout, no matter what. But the specific reason I am writing this post and mentioning Insanity as my workout of choice is because Insanity asked me to.  Yes, the brand representatives saw that I was doing the workouts and asked me to share my story with you guys, and with the media. They asked me to help them not only talk about Insanity, but to actually talk about how our community can literally do anything (because, why couldn’t we?!)While I’m mentioning Insanity in this story, it’s not the main point.

The main point is us.

If a girl, with an ostomy bag, and a chronic illness, who can’t eat real food is doing Insanity, YOU CAN TOO! (Ok, sorry, went a little “as-seen-on-tv” there, for a second.) A quick side note here, that I need to add in as my own disclaimer is that, as you all know, I never went to medical school (despite my parents wishes), and I am not someone who can tell you that this workout will work for you. It might not. It might be horribly awful for you. But that’s the way it is with every workout – you have to find what works. For me? This type of workout (High Intensity Interval Training or HIIT) is what seems to work for me, but it may not fit right for you. The moral of the story is not which workout you are doing, but the sheer fact that you can do it. We can do it. We are doing it. And I am going to keep doing it…

Today’s INSANITY before & after. Before: Omg why? After: Dead #workout #insanity #health #fitness #fitspo #uoworkout A photo posted by Jess Grossman (@jessgrossman) on


While many of you are most likely (probably) not as intense as I am, I know many of you still work hard to keep fit. I’d love to know what you find works for you and your body. Maybe it’s running, maybe it’s lifting weights, maybe it’s playing rec sports or doing yoga. There are many others out there with ostomies and chronic illnesses who never thought they could exercise (trust me, I get messages about this all the time!), so it would be great to hear about the ways that work for you. Comment below, on the FB post, on tweet at us @uncoverostomy, or post a fun pic on Instagram using #UOworkout.

Jessica Grossman
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