My Blood is a Mixture of Liquid Sugar and Diet Coke. - Uncover Ostomy
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My Blood is a Mixture of Liquid Sugar and Diet Coke.

Maybe that’s why I’m so sweet?



Over the past little while I’ve been told (maybe by one certain individual..cough cough) that I have no emotions and have lost my capacity for empathy and blah blah blah. So it makes sense that my veins are filled with anything but warm blood.

For those who know me even a little bit, they know sugar runs through my veins because I have the BIGGEST sweet tooth known to mankind. It’s a genetics thing (another reason how I know I belong in my family and that I am NOT an adopted Asian child) because my dad’s side of the family eats chocolate like it’s their job. I could actually eat any type of dessert/candy/ice cream/sugar substance any time any day.

Thank god I was allowed to have lollipops and gum back when I wasn’t allowed to eat anything else, thanks to Crohn’s disease.

Unfortunately, this sweet tooth and genetic disposition of mine has become my arch nemesis. It was the liquid sugar in my veins that proved, when I was about 15, that I was a healthy girl, because I was gaining weight from my habits. It was a good thing that my body was functioning normally, but not such a good thing that I looked like a whale. I needed a fix.

Introduce my obsession, Diet Coke.

I probably drink at least one a day, two or three in the summer months just because of the heat. I really began to drink it because it stopped me from ingesting thousands of calories in delicious sugary snacks. It was a great replacement when I was having mad carb cravings.

Now you might be thinking that I, as someone with a bowel disease, must be absolutely nuts to be drinking that stuff as often as I do. I soon realized, however, that, as someone with an ostomy, it was actually a magical elixir.

As most ostomates know, some foods just don’t agree with the bag, not because of any disease, but just because of the function of the bag.

I didn’t care.

I hadn’t been allowed to eat for a longgg time, thanks to my disease, so my new healthy attitude was that I was going to eat whatever I damn well pleased. Unfortunately, what I damn well pleased was an array of raw vegetables such as lettuce, cucumbers, carrots, pickles, peppers, and tons of other vegetables that I loveeee who sadly do not love me back.

Thankfully, I discovered, through a bit of research and my own experimentation, that Diet Coke is actually an amazing way to keep the bag functioning and flowing. If I know I’m going to be eating tons of raw foods, I pair it with a cold DC to help everything digest.

I know it’s not the most glamorous thing to talk about, but food restrictions, and the like, are some of the biggest issues we ostomates face. We finally get rid of our disease, and we still have issues! Luckily, I found what has helped me get around these issues.

Another awesome cure? Alcohol.

Ok, first of all I am not an alcoholic, in fact I rarely drink (it’s true!) when I have had a drink or two, I’ve noticed its benefit! (one of many?).

You can imagine my delight when I was introduced to the amazing Diet Coke cocktail. The recipe is simple:

Fill a highball glass with ice and add 1 oz. Skyy Vodka, ¼ oz. lemon juice, ¼ oz. lime juice and ½ oz. simple syrup. Top with 3 oz. diet coke and garnish with a cherry.

Whether you need a special drink to pair with your delicious summer salad full of amazing raw veggies, or really, just want an amazing drink, I highly recommend this recipe.

Now, I’m no physician, and if you start following my DC obsession and it doesn’t work out as well for you… well, everybody’s different. I’m just here to provide tips from my own experiences. All I can say is try it out. Next time you, the ostomate, feel like you ate something that may not be moving where it should be, try a can of Diet Coke. It may just do the trick for you too!

Or maybe there’s something else? What do you do to handle these issues?

As a side note, to all those in Canada around the Toronto, Vancouver, and other major cities around Canada, keep an eye out for the Diet Coke Beauty Boost trailers. They’ll be touring around these cities, and offering free manicures and makeup touch ups plus free Diet Coke. It’s a perfect way to touch yourself up during the day, stay confident and gorgeous, and have a cold refreshing drink (to keep things moving! Haha)!

Jessica Grossman
  • Tara
    Posted at 20:28h, 08 June

    I drink 2 cans of Diet Pepsi everyday, not to help things get moving but just because I always have. I also love liquor 🙂 but I rarely drink it!

  • John
    Posted at 01:07h, 09 June

    I go through iced tea like there's no tomorrow. I like the occasional nip of booze (no gall bladder, so I have to go easy on it). My main vice is coffee though…I will go through a quart or more a day in the winter.

  • sezz
    Posted at 06:37h, 09 June

    would definately second the coke to help things flow….. I however prefer a full sugar coke…. with perhaos a spot of Jack Daniels because, yep it helps too. xx

  • Sam
    Posted at 10:59h, 09 June

    I eat yoghurt when I feel a bit 'blocked'…only because anything carbonated makes me feel even more bloated!

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