The "Lasts" of Things [And Happy Valentine's Day!] - Uncover Ostomy
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The “Lasts” of Things [And Happy Valentine’s Day!]

Lasts of Things

It’s slowly becoming more and more real that the things I have become accustomed to are coming to an end.

Two weekends ago I attended my fourth and final sorority parent ball. It’s a big event that the sorority throws to invite parents into our special circle to see what it’s all about. The first ball I went to was the chance for me to convince my parents that a sorority wasn’t all the media represented it to be. I made them meet every parent possible, ask questions, and meet the girls. I wanted them to feel the sisterhood that I had felt in my short time in Alpha Gamma Delta. To my luck, the event had convinced my parents that the sorority was a great new part of my life.

My parents then came to my second parent ball with bells on. It was a very special ball because it was the last my father was able to attend before he passed away in 2009.

My third parent ball was strange because it was the first time I had really felt like a single-parent child. People felt awkward about talking about the “parent” ball it in front of me, and I was awkward back. My mom, who loved AGD just as much as I did, still wanted to come and I was more than happy to have her be my date. It was a tough night for both of us, but we did have a great time.

These feelings of sisterhood and coming to terms with losing my father were felt more than ever at this last parent ball. It was the same as always- parents, girls in dresses, food, and dancing. It was great to finally be the girl that convinced other parents about how amazing AGD is, which I did through my presidential address. It was also special because my mom was the one who gave the customary “father of the president” speech. Though still slightly strange being there with only one parent, having started these events with two, you could feel the love of the sisterhood and their parents when they applauded both mine and my mother’s speeches.

It was a strange feeling, it being the last parent ball, but it certainly was a wonderful last experience.

This past Saturday, I had another last experience- Crush.

Twice a year, AGD throws a Crush party where girls invite boys to a semi-formal. This was my 8th and last Crush. Though it was strange being older and more mature then many of the younger newbies, it was still fun to get dressed up and dance the night away. It also helped that I had a great date.

On Sunday, I had again, another last experience- Composite Pictures

Sunday morning, I got all dolled up to take my 4th and final composite picture for the sorority composite. I put in extra effort than I had in years past because this year, my picture was going to be in the top middle with “President” underneath. Never in my past composites had I ever thought that was where I would be.

These “lasts” of sorority things are both sad and scary as they just keep reminding me that every day I get a little bit closer to entering the real world. Soon, I will be leaving the comfort of this circle of girls to enter a world full of bills, stress, and life.

Though I have severely hated these “lasts,” there was one in particular today that I could not have been happier about:

Today was the last time I ever hated Valentine’s day.

Since I can remember, I have always loathed VDay like most single girls- mainly because I’ve been single for every Feb 14th since my birth.

It wasn’t just because I was single, but was a combination of being left out of getting valentines cards in elementary school, the “your my valentine” cards from my mom attached to the box of chocolate I would engorge out of self-loathing, and getting the “pity” vday cards from my highschool friends because they were all dating each other and I was the odd one out. It was never a good day and I’ve always hated it.

Today, however, was the last day I could ever say I hated Valentine’s day because I was given my own special Vday surprise.

While cooking dinner in a sea of bitterness, I had a special somebody appear in the doorway of the kitchen with this special Valentine’s present for me.

For the first time in my life, someone other than my friends with their pity cards, or my mom with her chocolates, actually thought I was special enough for a gift.

While I agree that the whole day is simply a commercial interest for corporations all over the world, it’s still really nice to know someone cares.

I hope everyone else was able to have a special day.

If not, you will

It took 21 years for me :]

Jessica Grossman
  • Adam
    Posted at 15:32h, 15 February

    Always more memorable when it is a surprise. 🙂

  • Bec
    Posted at 10:27h, 19 February

    Took me 28 years Jess 🙂

  • Ashley
    Posted at 02:53h, 22 February

    I know you probably hear this all the time, but thank you for being so open and honest about how normal your life is with your ostomy. I had to have ileostomy surgery for Crohn's in July, right before I was supposed to start law school and it felt like the end of the world at the time. After I found your blog it made me see my stoma (I named her Rosie) as something that would give me my life back instead of ruin it. I'm feeling a lot better now and I even started a daily style blog where I post pictures of my outfits. I haven't been as brave as you are with mentioning my ostomy to people, but maybe one day I'll work up the nerve to talk about how my style has changed since having ostomy surgery 🙂