12 Oct I’ve Never Liked Rollercoasters
So like I mentioned in my last video, my university degree is focussed entirely on essay writing.
That’s what I’ve been doing [or trying to do] for about 2 days straight now.
I always have a hard time focusing on what to write, just because I’m like that, but yesterday, things were different.
Yesterday, my now ex-boyfriend and I broke up. For good. I know I never really wrote much about him because he told me it weirded him out and he preferred I didn’t. Well, I’m not going to mention his name or anything, but I feel the need to say a bit just cause he was such a big part of my life. [I told you, I have to give snippets here and there to give you context on why I am who I am lol]
Anyways, yesterday he came over to my place for lunch, ate my food, chatted for a bit, and then proceeded to break up with me. I have to say, I saw it coming. Things hadn’t been the same between us for a while.
The story is that we were best friends for two years. We met in first year in our residence and he lived a little down the hall from me. After 2 weeks or so into school, he asked me out, and I said no, for various reasons. But he didn’t give up. Almost every night after school and homework was done for the day, he would come into my room just to talk and hang out. He always told me he wanted to be with me no matter what. But I could never agree. Either way, he was a huge part of my life and always took care of me when I was upset or needed something, no matter how hard I protested. I was never someone to talk to anyone about anything. He just always made sure he was there whether I asked him to be there or not.
In second year, when we moved out of res and into apartments, we didn’t see much of each other. Some stupid things went on in second year, but he was still there for me when I needed it. Especially when I found out about the things going on with my dad. After all the stupid stuff was over and it was summer time, we decided to start dating.
He quickly became a huge part of my family because he just so happened to be around when my dad passed away. I guess he didn’t realize how close Jewish families can be during hard times, because he met everyone and they adored him. It was cute.
Anyways, the school year started and we were both not alright both of us extremely stressed out with school. And we fought a lot. Over the stupidest things. But we knew we wanted to be together , or I did, so we kept trying.
Long story short, [and certain details omitted for the sake of a few people] he came over yesterday and told me it wasn’t working and he wanted to just be friends. I told him I couldn’t do it and now we’re not speaking. It’s probably for the better. Things wouldn’t be the same again anyways.
It just sucks losing a best friend.
One rollercoaster over with…
Now for this second one.. Well I didn’t really ask for it, or mean for it to happen, but I guess I would call it a needed ride….
Last night, after my ex and I talked, I went back to writing essays. One essay is actually to discuss whether or not the Spiderman movie and Toby Maguire’s Spiderman reflects well on the comic book character. [Yeah, I’m in a comic book class]. So I had a friend who invited me to watch the movie with him and discuss it. I said yes because he totally knows way more about comics than I do. Well I went over last night and he made me dinner and then we watched the movie.
That wasn’t the only thing.
It’s kind of a fluke, I guess, but it turns out this guys dad died when he was 13. So we talked about it. We talked about everything to do with it. It was weird cause, like I said, I’ve never been someone who needed to talk about that stuff. But I know I’m supposed to though, for like the grieving process [even though I’m ok], so I guess it was a good thing. I think he liked talking about it too. So I guess that’s some good emotional stuff. It has to happen sometimes, right?
But yeah, I didn’t get home till really late last night and didn’t have the energy to write a blog post. I also didn’t really have time to write one today, trying to get through my essays and all. [1 rough copy down woo]
Hopefully this makes up for my lack of blogging. Just a little snippet to what’s going on with me.
I may have an ostomy, but I still have emotions [or some form of feelings] to deal with too