Winter

Oh the holiday season.

I guess for me, this season will always bring the good and the not-so-good emotions.

This time of year is a mix of emotions between enjoying time with the loved ones in your life but is also about remembering those who are no longer with you.

This weekend when I was home in Toronto I celebrated Channukah with both sides of my family. We went to my Bubbie’s house [My father’s mother] for our usual Friday night dinner. This time though, it was accompanied by latkas [the traditional jewish food during this holiday] and gifts. Saturday too, included latkas and gifts with my mother’s side of the family.

I hadn’t really been around my family for a few months since I had moved back to school, so it was a nice change. I missed everyone and enjoyed spending quality time with them.

Even though it has been a while since his passing, it has still been hard celebrating the holidays without my dad. I don’t really know how to put it into words, and I don’t know if I can, but it was hard.

To top it all off, yesterday, I received an email from a family with a picture attached. The mother of the family had emailed me explaining how she had met my father. Apparently, the family had met my dad at Princess Margaret Hospital when my he was in for weekly blood transfusions and their daughter was in for treatments. The mother had told me how much fun my dad had been and what a great person he was. Attached to the email, was a picture of an ornament they had made of my father to put on their special “angel” tree. This tree has 12 ornaments of people they had met and who had passed over the past two years who they consider heroes.

I guess I didn’t really realize how much I missed my dad during the holidays until I received the email, last night, during my sorority holiday potluck dinner. I read the email as it came to my blackberry while sitting at a table with a bunch of my sisters. The email was so touching that I actually cried at the table. Luckily, I was able to hide it. However, in an instant my tears were quickly turned to laughs when a sister made a joke. The laughs reminded me of the love within my circle of friends and reminded me to cherish the time I had with them.

Last night was definitely a great moment during this holiday season. Of course I had an amazing time with my family back at home, but last night was special as well. At 6pm yesterday evening, our house began to fill with girls and food as we all prepared to feast for our holiday potluck. There were almost 50 girls present, each with a separate dish in hand. There was tons of food and laughter, and I had a great time.

Though this is really only the beginning of the holiday season, I have already experienced an overwhelming amount of joy and love. I am so lucky to have such special people in my life and I couldn’t be happier.

This holiday season, please appreciate the loved ones around you.

Isn’t it funny how the weather seems to parallel the mood you’re in? The temperature is frigid and the wind is fierce and the precipitation on the ground is icing over.

Sounds angry, doesn’t it…

Maybe the weather only reflects our moods because our moods are determined by the weather? If it was sunny and warm outside tonight, would I be happier? Maybe. I hate the winter.

Well today marked the last day of classes for the 1^st semester of my third year at Western. I can’t believe how fast time flies. I still vividly remember this time in 1^st year. I remember what my residence room looked like and where I placed everything. I remember what classes I was taking and how I was studying for them. And I remember the people that were in my life at the time.

I look now and I see how much has changed since then. I no longer live in that residence room decorated with way too much pink paraphernalia. I no longer take, what now looks like, easy first year classes. And I no longer have the same people in my life.

I guess you can’t expect things to stay the same forever.

I sit here, procrastinating from studying, thinking about my future. I’m old enough now to accept that things change and there’s nothing you can do about it. I realize that these classes I’m taking are just steps for me to reach another phase in my life [which isn’t helping to solve my procrastination]. I sometimes wish that I could just jump ahead and be at a different part in my life. I’m sick of being a university student and having to study and worry about trivial things like marks. In the real world, marks don’t matter. I’m ready to be awarded for my hard work, not my ability to rationalize whether answer a makes more sense than answer b, when really, they both mean the same thing. I’m ready to feel like what I do is appreciated. I’m ready to be more than a number in someone’s book.

I’m also old enough to realize how ridiculous I’m being. I realize that I can complain all I want but things won’t change. You just have to learn what you can from what you experience and wait to hit the next part of your life, hoping you don’t accidently hit a wall.

I’m also old enough to realize I should be studying.

The Holiday Season

Someone Must Have Pissed Off Mother Nature…

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