“Nipping it in the Bud”

October 31, 2012 By

This afternoon, my mother and I took a little drive to our local Costco. Nothing like a mother-daughter trip to the best store in the world, amiright?

Anyways, during the drive there, my mother decided to tell me a “funny story” that happened to her at work today.

Alright mom, tell me about all the hilarity that ensued at work today.. *eye roll.*

Well, as the story goes, a young coworker began conversation with my mother about how she was having major stomach issues and was unsure of what it was. My mother suggested to her that she ask her doctor to run some tests. The young woman said that she was far too scared about the tests that she may face that she would have rather not said anything at all. My mom insisted she bring it up, as it was better to go through the awful tests now to save a lot of pain for later. The conversation ended and the young woman walked away.

As she walked away, one of my mother’s patients (my mom is a physiotherapist) picked up the conversation with her, having overheard and agreed with my mother’s suggestion. However, as my mom put it, this is how he “agreed.”

“It’s better that she get her tests done now then put it off and end up with a bag on her body.”

“Hoooooooold up,” said my mom.

(Ok, well she didn’t exactly put it like to the patient, but you get the gist.)

“Actually, funny you should say that, because,  you know how I was in Italy?” my mom asked her patient. “Well, actually, I was there with my daughter for World Ostomy Day as she spoke to 1000 people about having a ‘bag on her body.’”

Her patient’s jaw fell to the floor and he couldn’t stop apologizing.

“Let me show you something,” she said as she brought him over to the computer and showed him this website. He was in shock and awe at what a “bag on a body” could look like.

Thanks to my mother, another misconception has been fixed, another mind has been changed, and another negative stigma has been “nipped in the bud.”

I hope you are all doing the same.

Thanks for being an amazing ostomy ambassador, mom – I love you!

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A Bad Case of the Crazies

May 9, 2012 By

Phew.

That is all I could think the morning of Tuesday, May 1st, the day my mother and I hit the road in a 10 foot Uhaul, en-route to Toronto. After living on a couch in a studio apartment with a wonderful friend who graciously took me in for 3 weeks, it was finally time to move myself back to good old Canada land.

I had moved out of my apartment 3 weeks earlier than I was supposed to. 3 weeks earlier than I had paid for. Unfortunately, I had no choice- my apartment wasn’t safe.

3 weeks prior to Tuesday, May 1st, I had solidified the fact that I could complete my Masters at NYU from Toronto by taking 2 online classes and writing my thesis at home. Knowing it would save me upwards of tens of thousands of dollars, I decided it only made sense to move back home. I made all the arrangements I needed to make, including confirming my plan with my program director, finding a place to live in Toronto, and securing a sublet for my room to fill in for me. I hadn’t actually signed a lease for my place in NYC, but it didn’t feel right putting my roommate out like that. The sublet I had found actually happened to be a girl who went to the same university as us for undergrad, was an absolute sweetheart, and extremely trustworthy- I couldn’t have found a better match to take my place.

Well, apparently I could have.

I informed my roommate of my plans and about the girl I had found to take my place in the apartment, knowing that this was a win-win situation for both of us. She, however, did not see it that way. Instead, she told me that I was not allowed to sublet my room and demanded that I had to continue to pay rent. Shocked, I simply said ok and walked out of the room.

Little did I know that this was the beginning of one of the most surreal events of my life.

The next day my roommate began to harass me by texting me and calling me constantly, insisting that I call her parents, yelling at me, and slamming doors. I was in utter dismay with her attitude as I had simply said “ok” to her demands and nothing about not paying.

The next day, she served me with a letter (that made little sense) from a lawyer that told me she was going to sue me if I moved out, stating that I had said I was going to move out without paying, which I had not. I had expected this letter, but I didn’t expect what followed…

That night, after my roommate had served me the letter from her lawyer, I realized that she had made passive aggression actions towards my things. She had thrown my shoes in a pile, taken a Christmas card of mine off the fridge, took my shower products and put them in the middle of the tub in standing water, and… well… to spare you the gross details… she had “tampered” with my toothbrush in one of the most disturbing ways possible. This action was so disgusting that I questioned whether it was safe to eat the food I had left in the fridge, as I was unsure of what she could have done to it.

It was then that I realized I couldn’t live there anymore, so I moved out for those 3 weeks. The problem was, I had to leave most of my stuff back in the apartment. It was 3 weeks later that I was able to retrieve my belongings, with the help of my mother. But not, of course, without hassle from my roommate.

The weekend my mother came into to town to help me collect my things also happened to be the weekend my roommate felt the need to recruit both of her parents to keep watch on us. And by watch, I actually mean stalk. The entire weekend, while the 5 of us were living in the tiny NYC apartment, my roommate’s parents not only went out of their way to make living arrangements unbelievably difficult, but went out of their wait to literally stalk my mother and I. They waited in the building foyer for us to show up for the first night, and then waited outside of the building for us when we would leave the apartment. While my mother and I enjoyed our time in NYC by shopping, going out for dinner, and seeing a show, they were stalking us-waiting for me to move out.

My mother and I let it slide as we were having a really great weekend together. We were able to pack my things quite quickly, which is why we could enjoy the things we did in the city before we had to leave. It wasn’t until the last day that things really got messy.

I had sent my roommate a letter (from the lawyer I had to acquire) a few days after her letter, stating not only the harassment she had inflicted on me, but that I would be moving out May 1st, as I had a presentation the night of April 30th. Apparently, her parents were never informed of the letter and they were under the assumption I would be moving out on the 30th. When they realized I was not ready to move out by 5pm that day, they.. well.. kind of went nuts.

After much discussion, my mom and I had decided earlier that day that it may be a better idea to move out that evening, just to get out of their harrassing ways. So, by 5pm on April 30th, my mother left the apartment to pick up the Uhaul…Unfortunately, at the same time my roommates parents came back into the apartment. They wasted no time to come into my room, where I was alone and cornered, to begin to verbally attacking me. Hearing this from down the hall, my mother came back into the apartment to save me. It then turned into a battlefield, as my roommates mom began yelling at us that we needed to “get the f*** out” of her apartment or she was going to call the police and physically move my stuff onto the street. My mother responded by informing my roommate’s mother that she could not do that, which we knew, because we had done our research.

To this, my roommates mom responded, “of course you did your research- you’re Jewish.”

Thankfully, we packed up and moved out of the apartment by 10pm that evening and drove to a hotel for the night. I couldn’t spend anymore time in that apartment, especially with people so vile… so anti-Semitic. My mother and I had a wonderful night’s sleep that night and were well rested for our long 10 hour drive back to Toronto the next day.

I am now home in my new apartment, still unpacking and finishing up an assignment for my spring semester before my summer semester begins. I am looking forward to all the wonderful things ahead of me and hoping that I never have to experience what I had experienced again. While I always look for the good in people, I guess there are always some people who just have a bad case of the crazies.

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Have you ever experienced a ridiculous roommate situation? What did you do and how did you survive?

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Time Capsule

April 1, 2012 By

I tweeted a little while ago that I had been invited to participate in WEGO Health’s Health Activist Writer’s Month’s Challenge. I was a little shocked that I had been found, let alone invited to participate, especially since as I actually made my profile for the challenge, they didn’t have an option for “ostomy” in their drop down selection of  topic for my blog. Nevertheless, I thought I should sign up and see what this thing is all about.

From what I’ve gathered, the challenge is to write a blog based on a specific topic they give you, everyday. Will I be able to write a blog post everyday? Considering that it’s crunch time for my last full semester to get my M.A at NYU, probably not. Will I try? Hell, yeah. Nothing like a challenge to pump the adrenaline.

So over the next month, I’ll be trying to keep up with their blog topics. I will be challenged to actually write about what they‘ve asked me to write about, as opposed to writing about my life- which is just sooo much easier.

I hope you’ll enjoy it.

Here is the blog topic I was given for today:

Every life has a story. But often the most well-preserved stories are those accompanied by physical objects and visuals. In this year’s kick-off to HAWMC, create a time capsule of your stories, your life. Will your time capsule be a physical box or a collection of writing or visuals compiled in a digital format? Where would you hide your time capsule? What is inside your capsule (memorable objects, photos, advice), and what stories do the contents tell? Who do you hope will one day find your stories and what do you image they will think? Will your stories ever be on display or will they have a different purpose?

I’ve never made a time capsule before (or I have and have forgotten about it…) so this was an interesting thought for me to think. What matters most to me? What are the most influential moments of my life?

At first, I assumed that this question was asking me about my life in terms of my disease and what I would put away to remember that time. I immediately thought that my box would actually be made out of an empty TPN IV bag, as it was the symbol of my entire time struggling with Crohn’s disease in and out of the hospital. I had been in and out for 2 years, with most of those years being hooked up to an IV pole of TPN because I wasn’t allowed to eat. At one point, I even had this pole at home and had to hook and unhook myself from it (with the help of my parents) every night. I then thought I would include things like a Push Pop, one of the lollipops that were kept in a plastic tube that you had to push up. They were delicious, especially as they were one of the few things I could “eat” while I was sick. I thought I would also include a mini ostomy bag, of course, signifying surgery. I also thought I would include a picture of 6A, the floor at Sick Kids hospital that I resided in. And lastly, I thought I would include one of the hospital bracelets I have somewhere saved in my room, which I supposed I have saved for this reason.

After thinking about my time capsule and beginning to write it out, I realized that this blog topic wasn’t asking about the story of my illness, but it was asking about the story of my life. As most of you know from this blog, my sickness, nor my ostomy, are in any way my life, but are simply small elements of it.

I realized there is so much more I would put in my time capsule. In fact, I would even change the physical element of my time capsule. I quickly changed my mind from the IV bag to a small metal safe- both for resistance to the elements, and so that I could lock it  (logical, right?). I thought I’d bury it in the backyard of my childhood home so that I could find it sometime when I’m old. It wouldn’t be on display- it would just be for me. I’ve got my blog as my display.

As for contents, I knew I would put all of those things I had mentioned above, signifying my struggle with Crohn’s. However small part of my life it was, it was extremely influential to the person I am today. And yet, there is so much more that makes me who I am; so many people, places, and experiences.

Thinking back to these memories, I began to envision what I would include. I started thinking about including a pair of dancing shoes, from all the years of dance I enjoyed. I thought I’d also include a yearbook from my grade 8 class, as it was the last piece of my elementary school education and it took up 12 years of my life. I thought I’d include a pictures from all of the school plays I participated in, in high school, as well as cd’s with recordings of the songs I had sung in vocal class and choir. Obviously I knew that I had to include pictures of my friends and I from high school as well, especially since they some of the most important people in my life, who I fact, still keep in close contact with.

University is the most recent but most memorable time of my life, so I knew there was much to include from then. I thought I’d include pictures from my experience in university residence, my apron from working at the campus restaurant, and an essay I had written for one of my last classes. I’d include pictures of my friends and having ridiculous amounts of fun for no apparent reason either at the bar, or at a friends pool. Unfortunately, I don’t have any pictures from our study sessions. which were when we really bonded, but I may have some study notes I’d include in there as well as a reminder.

My sorority was also a big part of my life, so I knew I’d have to include my bid card (invitation to join), as well as the composite picture where I am president. I would also include pictures of some of the greatest memories of my time there, such as pictures of parties, sisterhood events, and philanthropic events like the bone marrow drive we ran in memory of my dad.

I would of course, include things I had from my dad, such as his cologne that I keep on my dresser at home to remind me of him. I would also put one of the favorite pictures I have of him and I, where he’s holding me at less than 1 years old. I would also include a couple of random toys that my brother and I used to play with as children such as lego and playmobile. And I would include the hotel room key from the time my Mom and I went to Vegas, back in 2010. I would include the birthday card that my boyfriend gave me and a picture from one of our happiest moments. I would also  include a couple of old pieces of jewelry  from my deceased grandmother, and recent pictures of me and my living grandparents.

I would include maps and ticket stubs from my backpacking trip to Europe. I also thought I would my student card from NYU and an I <3 NY tshirt to signify my time living in the city…

..Maybe even my beloved stuffed animal Mr. Wrinkles who I’ve had since I was 1…

As I went on and on thinking about all the things I would put in my time capsule, I realized that there are so many memories from so many people in so many places that I want to remember. I don’t think there is any way I could actually put enough away to remember it all.

One thing I have learned in my short, 22 years of life is that the moment is really all you have. While memories are great things to think about, that’s all you can do with them. What matters is enjoying the moments with the people you love before they become memories, because once you have the memories, the only place they can go is in a time capsule.

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What would you put in your time capsule?

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This Makes 9

January 31, 2012 By

Bleep.

That’s the sound I awoke to from my cell phone at 6:30am.

“Good morning. Wishing you a Happy 9th Bagiversay! So proud of what you have accomplished.”

That was the message I received from my mother at 6:30am. What a sweetie.

Today is my 9th bday. My 9th anniversary of having a bag. 9 years ago today I was waking up groggy and in pain after surgery. 9 years ago today I got my ostomy.

As with every year over the past few years, I had forgotten, until my mother reminded me this early morning.

Why do I forget? Well, as I’ve said many times before, I forget because my ostomy is so much apart of me that I never remember to recognize it as a separate entity. I mean, do we remember to celebrate the anniversary of having an arm? ..Ok I guess we do when we celebrate birthdays, but you get my point. It’s part of me and it’s hard for me to remember that there was a day when I didn’t have it and a day when I did.

What am I doing to celebrate, you ask? Laundry.

Today is just like any other day.

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Have You Noticed the Increase in Weight Loss Commercials Recently?

January 10, 2012 By

Welcome to the New Year and to that gnawing feeling at the bottom of your stomach that you don’t think you’ll be able to keep your New Year’s Resolution.

The amount of weight loss commercials has increased on television recently in order to recruit individuals hoping to keep their New Year’s Resolution of losing weight. Pretty clever, huh?

(Also, did you know that fast food and restaurant commercials are more frequent late afternoon, right before dinner time? I learned this when I was put on bowel rest for the first time when I was 11 and wasn’t allowed to eat for 7 days. I paid very, very close attention to those commercials..)

But I digress!

I bring up New Year’s resolutions because I have been thinking about mine. Yes, it has already been over a week since the New Year began, but I needed some time to think.

After much soul-searching, deep thought, and sleeping on it- I have come up with 3 resolutions for the new year:

1 I will graduate NYU by the end of the summer and find a coveted job.

2. I will stay as happy as I was when the New Year began.

3. I will devote much more time and energy to the success of Uncover Ostomy.

My first resolution is not too much of a stretch. For those who do not know, I have already planned out the courses I will be taking in my graduate program so that I will finish the 2 year program at NYU in one calendar year. Assuming I do not fail any of my classes, (which I’ve never done before), this will be done. I knew this resolution was too simple, so I decided to add the second part of the resolution about landing a (super awesome) job. I am hoping that by graduating out of this program, I will be able to find myself a job that I actually enjoy and that will pay the bills (a girl can dream, right?) It was this time last year I was determining my future for the coming year, so it is only fitting that, now, I begin to think about the next year to come.

My second resolution may seem silly to many, but to those who know me, it is definitely not. Since my father passed away over 2 years ago, my life had sort of revolved around a cloud of unhappiness. I wasn’t overly unhappy, but I definitely wasn’t as happy as I could have been. I was, I would describe as- overwhelmingly pessimistic with a hint of sarcasm. I was suffering a loss, I was stressed with school, and people in my life were not making it easier. It is not surprising that I was unhappy, I suppose.

Slowly, over the past couple of months, that underlying unhappiness that was within every snide remark or negative comment I made has disappeared. Some have even told me that they can see the happiness exuding from my skin or from the words I type over facebook chat. You may even say that I am a pleasure to be around now (maybe.)

Much of this happiness has been attributed to the fact that stresses from school have lessened dramatically. I am learning practical and interesting things that do not require me to write 5, 15 page long essays per semester on the same, yet not the same topic. (I cannot even tell you how many different ways I wrote essays on the media’s power to disseminate messages to the masses. See the parallel with my opening statement now?) I am really enjoying my studying, making it much easier to handle.

My happiness also stems from the people around me. My family, for one, has grown stronger and happier since the sad loss of my father. While lost family members are never forgotten, they become easier to handle as time goes by. The holidays are always a hard time to deal with the loss of important people, but this year it was more of a year to celebrate memories, then morn a loss.  It was wonderful seeing my family so happy this holiday season. It brought out a happiness in myself.

The majority of my happiness, as a lot of people have pointed out that they have noticed, can be accredited to my boyfriend. Though I don’t get to see him very often, knowing that he is in my life has made me wonderfully content. During the holiday’s, I was able to spend a full 2.5 weeks with him, maximizing the time we had together. While I was in Toronto, he accompanied me to holiday dinners with my family, we spent the rest of the holiday’s together at his place in Florida with his family, and then we rang in the new year together in NYC. My New Year’s Resolution is to maintain this content feeling- this happiness- that I have gotten from him for the entire year.  As long as he remains in my life, it won’t be hard.

My third resolution is focused on this campaign. Since its launch, Uncover Ostomy has only been growing larger and stronger; successfully spreading ostomy awareness. While we’ve been doing great things together over the past little while, there is so much more I want to do.

We all know that the vast majority of the UO audience are those who have ostomies themselves.  While I am ecstatic to have so many devoted participants in this campaign, it is only half the battle. As you know, UO is a two tiered endeavor: to spread acceptance of the ostomy to those with them, and to teach those without them what they are. So far, the second tier is lagging behind.

Over the past few months, I’ve come up with ideas that I really believe could break Uncover Ostomy into the public realm. The fact that I live in NYC has given me a geographical advantage to reach a wider audience than before and I believe that what I have in mind can do that. While my location may be ideal, and my ideas pretty freakin awesome, my ability to make use of them is not quite as easy as I had hoped. I have two main obstacles stopping me: time and resources. While I worked to get over these obstacles by setting aside time to find resources, I plan to work even harder at it in the new year. Unfortunately, my endeavors so far have come up pretty unsuccessful. I have gotten many hollow promises of help, if not complete rejections. Hopefully, more by devoting more time to this search, I will come up with something.  I have great ideas for us, but it’s hard to get anything done when you do not have the money to do it.

I think the three diverse resolutions I have given myself for the 2012 year will be good for my mind, my heart, and my soul. I am going to work hard to enhance my skills and build my career; I am going to maintain the happiness that exists in my life from the people who I am surrounded by; and I am going to work even harder to find ways to spread awareness for our great cause.

As I conclude this post, I hope that my resolutions have given you some inspiration for your own. I hope for you, in the 2012 year, that you will work hard to advanced yourself in any way you can, whether it be through more school, finally quitting your job and finding one you really love, or taking up that hobby you have been dreaming of doing for a while. I hope that you will find, if not maintain a happiness that makes you wake up every morning with a smile on your face, happy to have special people in your life. I also hope for you, in the 2012 year, that you will help Uncover Ostomy continue to spread awareness. We have accomplished so much, but still have so much more to do.

Friends, let go of that gnawing feeling because, this year, you will keep your New Year’s Resolution.

Happy 2012 <3

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(Sidenote: This post started out on the topic of weight loss commercials because I was eating pickles, and noticed the pickle jar said that 1.5 pickles were 0 calories and then I thought, if I ate only pickles for an entire week, I could essentially not ingest any calories and then a weight loss commercial came on and then I remembered I needed to blog. Whoops.)

 

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7 Days, 4 Classes, 2 Projects, 2 Exams Later…

December 20, 2011 By

…And I’ve finished my first semester at New Y0rk University.

You may be thinking, “Wait, she’s done already? There were no posts full of endless whining, no incoherent posts due to essay writing fatigue, and there were no posts at 3am with late night ramblings ..What?”

I am shocked myself.

This past week has been the most overwhelming, yet most calm exam period of my educational career. Despite the complexity of the projects and the material I was to study, I found it a surprisingly palatable week. The projects were actually kind of fun, despite the stress of getting all the work done on time, and the exams were not that fear inducing.  Perhaps this was all because I actually enjoyed what I had learned over the past few months.

On Tuesday, I had a group project due, for my Social Media Management class, that required us to create a social media strategy for a company in need. Considering I am a social media strategist, (oh yeah, if you didn’t know that about me, I am), the project was a way for me to practice my profession.

On Thursday, I had an individual project due, for my Building a Brand class, that required me to rebrand a brand identity that was in need. Now I am not a designer, but I have found myself to have an back for branding. At least from this project I have. I spent 3 weeks putting together an entire brand redesign from the research to the brand brief, to the actual images, to its specifications (including math!), to create a final product. I had never done this before but it was great experience. (And I think I did well!)

Friday was much more stressful than those of the previous days- It was my Managerial Finance exam! I had studied as much as I could while completing the other two projects and felt quite comfortable in my knowledge. I was comfortable, that is, until I saw how much math was on the exam. I do know I passed so there’s no stress there.

Today I had my last exam in Management. I had studied all weekend, with the exam being worth a whopping 85%, but I wasn’t nervous. I had paid attention and participated in every class and had quite enjoyed the material I was learning. Though I didn’t know a few things on the exam, I still know I did well.

The main reason this exam week was so stress free was because I actually enjoyed everything I was creating, compiling, learning, and studying. This stuff is real, useful, and pretty fun. I mean, the class titles even sound enjoyable. (Well, to me at least…)

I’m not knocking my undergraduate education, but I have to say, I am finally learning the things I want to learn and the things that will prepare me for my future career.

I have just finished packing my suitcase for winter break; something I am greatly looking forward to. This year, however, I am not looking forward to it as a stress reliever, but am simply looking forward to seeing friends, family, and my boyfriend. I will only have 4 days in Toronto, as I am heading to Naples, Florida with the boyfriend and his family. After only a few days there, however, we will be heading back to NYC so I can-yes- start school again.

Yup. I am taking a course over the “winter semester.” 3 intensive weeks of one class for 3 credits staring Jan 3rd. Then I start again on January 23rd.

Why, you might ask?

While I greatly enjoy learning what I am in this program at NYU, I have also learned- maybe from the program itself- that I am ready to join the workforce. After careful planning and consideration, I have decided to  do this 2 year program in one calendar year. It will take a lot of time, dedication, and studying, but I am ready to put these skills to work.

And make some money.

In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy the holiday season with the ones I love.

Happy holidays everyone!

Also, we have surpassed 3,500 people on the Facebook Fanpage! So exciting! Remember to keep inviting your friends!

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Gotta Love the Cycle of Fashion Trends

December 3, 2011 By

… Let’s just hope the disaster that was the 90′s fashion craze of belly tops and MC Hammer pants never returns.

As you all know, I was back in Toronto last week to get myself checked out for various medical issues I was having.

Surprise- nothing’s wrong with me according to my test results

Not a surprise- my body is clearly acting like something is wrong.

As with most medical issues in my life, I will have to suck it up and deal with the symptoms as they come. Wonderful.

Anyways, that’s not the point of this blog post. I am back in NYC, finishing up my 1st semester here at NYU (eeeee), and getting ready to have a wonderful winter vacation.

The point of this blog post, however, is to let you ladies in on some recent ostomy friendly and, of course, super stylish fashion trends I came across while I was back home. (Sorry, guys!)

While I was home, the wonderful woman that is my mother generously offered to take me to my local mall for some Canadian black Friday shopping to lift my spirits after my week of visiting doctors and awaiting my (eventually unhelpful) medical results. Thankfully, black Friday shopping in Canada was basically the same as everyday shopping in Canada, so I actually had some time to spend to seek out essential articles of clothing that I was in desperate need for.

Yes- I was in desperate need for some new clothes.

I swear.

Having moved out to NYC and participating in a more professional life setting, I quickly realized that my everyday undergrad sweatpant-dawning-sorority-tshirt-sporting-and-ugg wearing style wouldn’t cut it out here. Over the past few months I had made some essential wardrobe purchases including new shoes and new shirts.

But those were the easy things for me.

As you all know, I am a lucky individual as I have my ostomy quite low on my body. I have no issue buying shirts because the ostomy is not near that part of my body. Unfortunately, this makes pants quite the challenge.

Over the past few years, I’ve very successfully built my wardrobe around wearing, as I said, sweatpants, as well as lululemon pants, leggings, and my very scarce set of jeans that took me a lot of digging and trying on to find (eventually, I found stretchy jeans, kind of like jeggings, but actually made of denim- they work well.) My closet does include some other pairs of pants that do not fall under any of those categories, but the selection is slim.

My mission for that black Friday shopping excursion was to find real pants. Not leggings, lululemons, or jeans. Pants I could wear that said, “Hey, she looks like she knows what she’s doing.” Aka pants that don’t make me look like I’m heading to campus.

Not having a clue what exactly I was looking for, I ventured in and out of my regular store choices in hopes of finding something that would jump out at me. From one to the next I left empty handed.

Ok, not empty handed-I just didn’t have any pants in my hands.

Eventually I came across one of my most frequented stores called Aritzia.

It took all of about 30 seconds for me to realize I was in ostomy pant city.

…And by that I mean, stylish-sophisticated-but-hides-my-ostomy-perfectly-city.

Apparently, fashion trends have cycled back from the 50s and Aritzia has taken notice. I found a few pairs of pants that resemble the types of pants women wore back then; pants that were straight legged, with a bit of a tulip effect at the top of hip. Oh, yes: pants no longer hug hips!

I was in heaven.

I think I must have tried on about 7 pairs of pants- all which hid the ostomy absolutely perfectly. Don’t worry, I didn’t purchase all 7, just 3! These are one of the pairs I bought (click for more info):

These pants not only made me look as if I wasn’t missing 6+ of intestine, but they made me look as if I was ready to start a real career.

It’s amazing what clothing can do.

I have to say that I am unbelievably thankful that I had my ostomy surgery when I did. If I had been forced to live with it through the 90s with belly tops that flaunted the midsection and pants the hugged the hips, I would have either been showing my bag to everyone (more than normal..), or would have just been a very unfashionable individual..But really, who decided those clothing choices were stylish, anyways?

So fellow female ostomates-and ladies in general- Now is definitely the right time for a little wardrobe update, no?

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You Know You’re a Crohn’s/Ostomy Patient When..

November 19, 2011 By

…you check yes to 12/30 health issues on a clinic history form..

I tweeted this last Saturday while I waited at the NYU Health Services Clinic to be seen for some issues I have been having over the past month.

Now, don’t get all freaked out or anything- my Crohn’s disease isn’t back! I’ve just had some all around medical issues that, because of Crohn’s, no intestine, lack of an immune system, and an ironic immunity to many pain medications, I have to take any issue with my body quite seriously. I’m sure some of you can relate.

I know how easy it is for me to get sick and for that sickness to turn into something disastrous, and so does my mother. Being the caring, loving, and sometimes overzealous worry wart that she is, made sure that before I moved here to NYC, I had the highest medical insurance plan that my university would allow. The comprehensive plan. In case I got sick here in NYC, I would be covered.

That’s all well and good when emergency situations arise. I don’t know much about the medical system here in the U.S, but I do know that emergency situations can get very costly if you don’t have insurance. Lucky for me, my mom splurged for the plan that covers as much as possible, according to the university. Swell.

I was hoping, then, that having this intense health insurance would also come in handy in situations like these; where I’m having issues, when I’m not sure what they are, and when I need them to be diagnosed and fixed before they become too dangerous.

Unfortunately, the one thing my medical plan here in NYC doesn’t have is the doctors who have known me and have been helping me for my entire life. Without these doctor’s, however, no matter how comprehensive my medical plan is, it doesn’t mean I’m going to get help.

Now, I am definitely not knocking the health facility at NYU. In fact, it was great! I was seen basically as soon as I arrived and filled out my medical history form (mind you, that probably took a good 15 minutes..), and the facility was clean and fancy. Everyone was also extremely friendly.

My issue, however, wasn’t any of their faults- it was simply my own.

After explaining the issues I have been having over the past month with the doctor who had taken my case, I then dove into the short version of my medical history. Crohn’s disease, hospital stays, medications, diets, anemia, ostomy, etc etc. I explained all of this, the doctor took some notes, and then they took blood.

Great. Awesome. Monday, they said, I’d have my results back and we could go from there.

Monday morning I get the results of my tests and advice from the doctor I have been dealing with. I am told my tests results are normal, though I should probably get them checked again in 6 weeks (if there are no abnormalities in my tests results while the issue is going on I doubt there will be a change in 6 weeks, I thought…) and was also told that I should do some things that I had explained I was already doing.

Awesome.

Needless to say, that visit to the clinic was useless.

I get pretty frustrated with the fact that I constantly get sick with random things here and there. It’s even more frustrating that, often, these random things are things that can’t be left alone in fears of the issues getting bad, or in the worst situation, the issues exacerbating my Crohn’s disease. I am probably the most frustrated, however, when I have to explain my entire medical history from beginning to end to a new doctor.

So, in order to make sure I get back to being healthy, I’m heading back home to Toronto for a week and a half to see the doctors that have had to deal with me for so many years. There’s n0 guarantee they’ll know what’s going on either, but at least they have some contextual background to use for my diagnosis.

Upside to all of this? I get to spend tons of time with my mom and boyfriend, both of whom I miss very much.

Cup half full.

Cup also half medical anomaly.

Thanks comprehensive medical insurance, you’ve been great.

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Time is Relative.

October 3, 2011 By

I’ve officially been living in New York City for a month now.

I have been living here for 4 weeks- 30 days-720 hours.

Nope.

No matter how I do the math, it still feels like I’ve been living here for 3 days.

These past few weeks have flown by-probably because of the whirlwind of activity I’ve experienced.

I started classes, I met tons of new people, I ran around for fashion week, I enjoyed a random street fair on my avenue, I’ve seen a couple movies, I listened to a few guest lecturers, I (fun Grossman) went out for my roommates birthday, I did some shopping, I met with my program director, I read and took a lot of notes for my classes, I did a few assignments, and I have taken a few days to sit back and watch tv in my PJs.

Somehow, I feel like I did all of that in 3 days.

I guess the old adage, “time flies when you’re having fun” is true. Or maybe what they say about time flying when you get older is true… Whether it’s one or the other, I can’t believe how fast this month has gone by.

Well, it felt like time was speeding by… until I woke up this morning.

This morning I woke up knowing that I will be home in less than a week.

In 5 days- 120 hours- 7200 minutes, I will back in Toronto for a visit.

Why? Whyyyyy is it that when you are excited beyond belief for something, it seems so much farther out of your reach?!

It’s been a month since I’ve been in my house, spent time with my mom and brother, or seen my boyfriend. I was fine with it until this morning.

Right now, itfeels like I’m running a race and I’m at the end and I can see the finish line straight ahead, but I am so exhausted, so drained, so tried, that getting to that line seems impossible. Luckily, I can’t stop time so I will get to the finish line eventually… it just feels like forever away.

It’s only a Saturday away.

Am I nuts?

This feeling kind of makes me wonder if I should position myself to constantly be looking forward to something big. I mean, the feeling is overwhelmingly stressful and draining, but I know it’s worth it. Most of all, I know it slows down time.

Figuratively speaking, of course.

According to my clock, I’ve been writing this blog post for half an hour-30 minutes- 1800 seconds.

It feels like I’ve been writing it for 2 hours.

Saturday cannot come soon enough.

What are you looking forward to?

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May the New Year Bring Only Joy

December 31, 2010 By

I’m back from a wonderful vacation in Jamaica with my mother and brother, and currently heading to London to spend New Year’s Eve with my boyfriend. It is this time of year that you must spend with the ones you love because you never know when the opportunity will disappear.

Over the past few years I have become very aware of this, with my grandmother and my father’s passing, but as of last night, the point was reiterated yet again.

Myself and my sorority sisters found out late yesterday evening that one of our graduated members had passed away. She was only 22.

This girl had been around during my first year in the sorority and then became one of my roommates when I lived in the sorority house in my second year. We had many great memories together.

Last year, we grew apart because she left the sorority and I was busy dealing with the loss of my father, school, and everything else a normal person my age has to deal with. I posted on her facebook wall but I never got around to actually seeing her. I always figured I had time.

Though I never make New Year’s resolutions, I decided that this year would be an exception. I have always know that I have difficulty keeping in touch with the friends I have made over the years. I always just expect to see them again in a certain situation, which I usually do, and it’s like old times. I realize that I can no longer make this assumption and must make the effort to stay in touch.

My new year’s resolution is to actively reach out to those that I have made friendships with so that I will never miss the opportunity to show them what they’ve meant to me.

Happy New Years, and may 2011 only bring good things.

————-

Video from my Jamaican vacation will be coming soon, keep checking.

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