20 Aug It is Our Choices That Show What We Truly Are
– Albus Dumbledore
In 1 week from today I am going to be making the biggest choice of my life:
To marry the man of my dreams.
Yeah, ok – there is no way that 14 year-old me would never have even thought it possible that I could end up with someone as wonderful (and as good looking, amiright?) as Matt. Yet, here I am, 7 days away from saying “I Do” and being officially off the market (sorry boys, haaaa) – I couldn’t be happier!
But man, it’s been a whirlwind of an engagement, which you can probably tell from my lack of posting (sorry!) With wedding planning, leaving my job to start my own freelance business, moving into a new home, and having mini wedding celebrations all in between, I’ve hardly had time to breath!
All of these changes have required me to make a lot of choices. Some menial:
Where are we getting married?
Do I buy a poofy wedding dress or a tight wedding dress?
Chicken or fish?
Some not so much:
Should we move now or after we get married?
Do I find another job or start my own business?
Who are the important people in our lives that we will invite to our wedding?
While there have been more choices put in front of me than I have ever had to make in such a short amount of time, these choices have really forced me to think. I’ve had to think about my future with my new partner, my present and how I could contribute to our shared household, and my past by considering the people in my life and determining the important ones from the ones who have kind of, sort of, faded out.
I’m not sure if this a thing that “they say,” but I can surely attest that the 2 ways to find out who the important people in your life are is by living through: 1) a tragedy or, 2) a celebration.
I don’t really consider my first “tragedy” to be a true test of this theory because my 2-year stint in the hospital was when I was too young to really have formed any meaningful relationships, but it certainly showed me that I didn’t have any. I mean, I was in a peer-group of 13 year olds who couldn’t get downtown to the hospital to visit me on their own, so I don’t really hold that against anyone. But still – I have no friends from that time in my life. However, did this tragedy affect my parents and their relationships with others? Did they realize that some family members and friends put in more effort than others during the tough times? I never really asked, but I’m sure some things came to light.
It was more so during my life’s 2nd tragedy, when my dad died, that I started to realize this theory. While there were a lot of people who came out of the woodwork to send me their support (which I still, to this day, remember and appreciate), there were others who sort of stepped back, which surprised me. I know that everyone deals with death differently, but there were some actions that spoke louder than words. Luckily, there were some key people who remained by my side during that time who are still in my life today that I am so lucky to have – some who are even my bridesmaids!
Sickness and death are relationship learning experiences, but let me tell you, so are weddings. It has been a very eye-opening experience, to say the least, to see the choices that some people in my life have made – and I mean this both in the good and the bad way.
To be honest, there are some people who have really disappointed me due to the choices that they have made over the past couple of months and these choices have made me feel like I’m not as important to them as they are to me. While these revelations have made me sad (some more upsetting to me than others), I think it has been a good learning experience on where I should focus my love.
Luckily, there are a lot of people to love among my amazing friends and family who have gone above and beyond to make me (us) feel special during my (our) engagement, such as:
My great-aunt, great-uncle and grandfather who threw Matt and I an unbelievable engagement party.
My bridesmaids, who put together the classiest bridal shower ever, for me.
And who, with some of my sorority sisters also threw me an amazing effort-filled cottage bachelorette weekend. (Which included many details that can never be repeated.)
Group photo ❤️ #bacheloretteweekend #bachelorette #bacheloretteparty #jessandmattrimony A photo posted by Jess Grossman (@jessgrossman) on
My undergrad squad who threw me a 2nd bachelorette party that was insane. (Which birthed recordings that can never be shared.)
My grandmother who, even with her arthritis, helped make my veil! (👰 <- that’s all you get to see, for now!) And my mom who has helped me print and glue, who has helped me coordinate people and places, and who has listened to me complain about the stress that comes with a wedding.
Happy birthday to my main lady, Mama G ✨💕💝💋 #birthday #mom #love A photo posted by Jess Grossman (@jessgrossman) on
I have even more people who have gone out of their way to make sure that August 27th, 2016, will be one of the best days of my (and Matt’s) life/lives that it reminds me that those who make the choice to be there for me and the ones who matter, and those who have chosen the opposite can fade away.
Besides, with only 1 week left to go, there really is only 1 more choice that I care about – Matt deciding to marry me!