12 Reasons Why You Should Love Your Ostomy - Uncover Ostomy
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Uncover Ostomy 12-Year

12 Reasons Why You Should Love Your Ostomy

HAPPY BAG-AVERSARY TO ME!

12 years ago, today, I had my ostomy surgery.

It’s not hard to believe that it’s been so long because, 12 years later, I can’t really remember what it was like to not have my ostomy. I’ve had my bag for so long that is has literally become an additional part of my body, as if I was born with it.

And 12 years later,

And I couldn’t be happier.

In celebration of today, I thought I’d write a little blog simply about why I love my ostomy, and 12 reasons why you could (and should) love your ostomy, too:

 

12. Because you can go on a roadtrip and not have to stop for hours

Uncover Ostomy Roadtrip

I don’t know about you, but if I plan properly (meaning I don’t eat a giant 3 course meal), I can go for hours without needing to pull over at a rest stop during a long roadtrip. As long as I’m wearing the right pair of pants, I’m always the last man standing.

11. Because it’s an excuse, for everything

I don’t always use my ostomy as an excuse to get into/get out of something, but sometimes, the situation just calls for it!

“Ma’am, you can’t bring those snacks in here”

*flashes ostomy* “I need them because of this!”

“I – uh- ok..”

Uncover Ostomy confused face

*walks in without looking back*

10. Because you can eat things you couldn’t eat when you were sick with Crohn’s/Colitis

While I still have restrictions because of my ostomy (and because I’m still lactose intolerant, etc.) I am able to eat things the doctors always told me to avoid, pre-surgery. Aka a salad, an apple, or even popcorn at the movies!

Uncover Ostomy popcorn at the m

9. Because you can usually always remember what you ate the night before

“Oh yeah, I had popcorn at the movies. And blue Gatorade…”

Uncover ostomy jon stewart popcorn

If you don’t get the joke, drink some blue Gatorade and get back to me.

8. Because it allows you to exercise, play sports, and get back outside!

When I was sick, I could barely move, let alone work out or play sports. I was weak, tired, and in pain. With my ostomy, I am now healthy enough to get outside, get fit, and get my sexy back.

Uncover ostomy workout

7. Because you can drink without getting a hangover

Ok, so this may not apply to all (and don’t get mad at me if it doesn’t work for you…) but if I time myself properly, I can drink, get buzzed, and get sober all within the same night! It just goes right through me. I wake up feeling perfectly fine the next morning, while my friends… not so much.

My-Talent-Lies-In-Drinking-Gif

Amen, sista.

6. Because you’ve always got a story to tell

This one time, I was walking through airport security…

Uncover Ostomy airport security

5. Because you have a plethora of jokes attached to your stomach

Whenever I walk through airport security…

Uncover Ostomy airport security

4. Because you can have a Crohns or Colitis flare, stomach flu, or food poisoning, and you only have to get up half the time!

Sorry, this one is a little gross… yet accurate and convenient.

Instead of running to the bathroom every few minutes like I used to when I was sick with Crohn’s or whenever I’ve had food poisoning, I can now sit back and relax while my ostomy handles it for me, for a little while.

Uncover ostomy sit back

3. Because it helps you get rid of assholes

PUN INTENDED.

But actually.

When you open up about your ostomy, you are opening yourself up to another person or a group of people.

If that other person, or those people, can’t accept you for how strong you are for making it through surgery, for how brave you are for opening up to them about the surgery, and how awesome you are for living your life in a completely different way, then they suck and you need to get rid of them.

Without the ostomy, you may not have seen their asshole side until it was too late.

Uncover Ostomy bridemaids swag

SEE YA LATER, ASSHOLE.

2. Because it helps you find amazing people

While opening up about an ostomy can shed light on the people you want to get rid of, it can also show you just how special the other people in your life really are.

The people who can look deep into your soul and appreciate you for who you are, what you’ve gone through, and what you’re continuing to go through with your ostomy are the people we are meant to keep.

Uncover ostomy love

1. Because it makes you who you are – and you should be damn proud

12 years later, I couldn’t imagine who I would be today, without my ostomy.

It’s not because I believe that I am me because of my ostomy, but I believe that I am me because of what my ostomy has done for me.

It has taught me to accept myself for who I am, no matter what I’m made of (or missing!)

It has taught me to adapt to situations around me, whether it meant learning to eat differently, dress differently, how to swim, shower, or get intimate with an ostomy, or even how to adapt to opening up about what makes me different.

It has taught me to be brave, by preparing for, having, and making it out of surgery to tell the tale to those around me and around the world.

It has also given me another chance at life, which would have been taken away from me from my illness. Without my ostomy, I would be dead.

So, with that, I’m busting out the candles.

Uncover-Ostomy-12-Year
Just because I can’t eat the cake, doesn’t mean I can’t celebrate!

Jessica Grossman
info@uncoverostomy.org
10 Comments
  • Karen Boos
    Posted at 04:12h, 01 February Reply

    I’m so glad you are sooo much better. Happy stomaversary! I’ve had mine ileostomy for 33 years. I don’t want to sound like a bummer, but……I was told that after my surgery things would be sooo much better. That I would be able to go back to “normal” and live my life again. That was not the case with me. After I was weened off the prednsone I couldn’t walk. It turns out I have ankylosing spondylitis. It’s pretty common to get this type of autoimmune disease if you have IBD like me. So I can’t play games and exercise like I would like to. My life has been full of pain and suffering. I was able to go on a bit with my life and I did have children. (3 of them) But I still feel that they, the doctors should have told me that I would be rid of ulcerative colitis and that other problems could occur. I really had great hopes that all would be ok. It wasn’t. I feel that all this autoimmune disease has really robbed me of the life I had and want. I’m glad it all worked out for you and a lot of others too. It wasn’t the case for me.

  • Laura
    Posted at 08:49h, 01 February Reply

    Happy stomaversary Jess! But howe come you use colostomy bags? Aren’t these impractical with an ileostomy?

    • Sally
      Posted at 01:04h, 02 February Reply

      Happy bagaversary! I love your writing and your spirit. I’ve been a bag lady since 1980 – almost 35 years! I have had a full and mostly happy life, and two wonderful children who are now in their 20s. When my son was a little boy, he saw me empty my bag in the bathroom and said ‘I’m glad I am not a girl”. I assured him that most girls and boys don’t have bags, and that it was ok, nothing to be afraid of.

      NW

  • Fingers
    Posted at 13:02h, 02 February Reply

    Happy Anniversary! It’ll be my 20th in May. I cannot believe it’s been this long. For me for the most part it’s been life changing as I was always in the bathroom every 15 minutes. I still have the jerks and the guys who refuse to date me but it’s their loss not mine.

  • Marte Hegstad
    Posted at 08:46h, 06 February Reply

    Congratulations! Couldn’t have said it better myself! I’ve got a Norwegian blog where I talk about IBD and stomas, is it okay I repost this blog post there? I’ll translate it into Norwegian, and link back to your page, off course. Keep up the good work! Marte xx

  • romina
    Posted at 15:14h, 26 May Reply

    You made my day..i completely agree. Stay brave and awsome 🙂

  • Ana
    Posted at 22:18h, 27 August Reply

    Thank you.
    I’m 28. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s a month and a half ago when I presented with a blockage, abscess and then a perforation requiring immediate surgery… I woke up with an ileostomy. I’d never even heard of it before and suddenly there it was…
    Thanks for talking about it so openly and having the confidence to show so many pictures. It can be hard to look in the mirror and find yourself beautiful with all the scars and the stoma, but you are, and so, it is possible.

    Stay strong.

  • jerry couture
    Posted at 11:38h, 03 October Reply

    I am 69
    i have had a ostomy for almost 4 years now,to make it short.I would rather cut grass then be under it.Every day is sunny whether the suns out or not.lv u all

  • carl goldscheider
    Posted at 12:29h, 03 October Reply

    my ostomy was a surprise to me. but it was better than the alternative. they said that it might be reversible in a year.
    well, you know the ostomy really wasn’t so bad and i elected to keep it instead of going thru another surgery.
    and the ostomy gave me membership in an exclusive club. i love my “club” and all the other members,
    all of the other members are very happy to be alive, and we all usually laugh a lot at our meetings, often we are laughing at ourselves and at the unusual situations that our ostomys often put us in.
    i would like to say to others who are facing the possibility of becoming an “ostomate” “its not so bad” and you too can become a member of our “exclusive club”. i’m sending a happy smile to you all. carl

  • Allison
    Posted at 21:59h, 08 February Reply

    This is an amazing list! Yes to all of them!!!!

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